


Sometimes life can have you lost, like your compass broke

by afraidtocare



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, M/M, References to Depression, References to anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9319040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afraidtocare/pseuds/afraidtocare
Summary: A glimpse of Albus and Scorpius' brain right before they joined Hogwarts. A bit of their worries and expectations and how meeting each other changed everything.





	1. Albus

**Author's Note:**

> Just a brief character study I wrote in a sleepless night way before the script of Cursed Child was released. I wanted to take a look inside Albus and Scorpius' brain before they went to Hogwarts and met each other and to explore the depths of their characters. 
> 
> It's very short and silly but I still hope you guys enjoy it! :)
> 
> The title is from the wonderful song "Atlantis" by Bridgit Mendler.

Albus had always known something wasn’t quite right with him.

Not that he was _wrong_ , per se, he simply knew he was… aloof. Odd. Different. And he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly made him feel as such an outcast in his own skin.

Perhaps it was the weight on his shoulders, all the pressure to live up to being The Chosen One’s most physically alike son. Or maybe all the expectations his last name imprisoned him in. To make matters worse, not only his _last name_ carried an enormous weight, but his first and middle name did as well. Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape; it was all a fucking joke to his heroic father, wasn’t it? How could he ever know what it’s like to carry the legacy of being named after the dead? And much worse, named after war heroes, as he says so.

Albus knew the stories, he grew up listening to his aunts and uncles and every goddamn family friend talking about Dumbledore’s wisdom, Dumbledore’s bravery, Dumbledore’s insight. Dumbledore this, Dumbledore that. Was he really that great of a man? If so, how could they ever expect Albus to reach all his mighty reputation?

There was also Severus Snape, who left the complete opposite of Dumbledore’s legacy, if you could say so. Albus didn’t grow up listening to tales of wonder about Snape’s life, he always met silence regarding his middle name’s inspiration figure-- and he knew why. Snape hadn’t always been a good man, but to his father’s eye, he died an honourable one and he deserved a tribute.

What traces could Albus ever have of those men? What similarities? How could Albus ever learn how to be himself if even his names didn’t belong to him? He felt like he was born with his life already written, and he never understood HOW would it make a difference if he chose to live or not in this freaking life, considering he was just a supporting act in his own story.

It wouldn't matter. So he chose not to act. He chose to just stand by and let the life they created for him be lived. Motionless.

At 11 years old, Albus wasn’t sure if he was expected to go to Gryffindor or Slytherin, in regard of his name’s influences. Slytherin had always been slurred in his family, so he was scared that if his fate was to end up there, his loved ones would hate him. Even more.  

But.. He was also scared of being sorted into Gryffindor and ending up hating _himself_.

He couldn’t bear the anxiety and indecision anymore, nothing made sense for him.

Until he met Scorpius.

Kind, cheerful, **vivid** Scorpius _Malfoy_ , and everything changed. How could someone who carried such a heavy last name as his own still be so… joyful? Why did he seem so carefree if he had to fulfill countless expectations? He didn’t understand how or why, but he wanted, so badly, to know the answers. He wanted his vivacious spirit to infect him, he wanted to be surrounded by his sweet and innocent aura, more than anything.

As it was expected from his last name, Scorpius was almost surely going to be sorted into Slytherin. And, to follow his desire, Albus knew exactly what he had to do.

So, for the first time in his life, he reached a conclusion about himself: he knew what house he belonged in.

Later, after the Sorting Hat announced that he, the son of the mighty Harry Potter and the skillful Ginevra Weasley, was sorted into Slytherin, the Great Hall stood silent, with all the teachers and students looking at him in disbelief. Meanwhile, he determinedly walked to his house’s table and sat beside his new friend, feeling proud of finally, _finally_ , doing something that for once felt right and genuine. Something just for him, and no one else.

And Albus, he must admit, felt fucking good in a way he hadn’t felt in long, long time.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to post a pov of Scorpius before he met Albus and entered Hogwarts as well, he surely wasn't forgotten! <3
> 
> Thank you for reading this :)


	2. Scorpius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm FINALLY finishing this mini project of mine!!! This sounds silly, because it's such a short fic but, for me, a huge procrastinator, it's a big step! It's the first fic I've concluded so I'm quite proud of myself haha~
> 
> This chapter portrays Scorpius' thoughts and worries at the begining of his journey at Hogwarts and how he feels and felt when he met Albus, his first friend! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it ♥

At 11 years old, Scorpius Malfoy was in the middle of having a confusing and overwhelming identity crisis.

It was finally getting closer to the day that he would at last begin his first year at Hogwarts, The School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry. Hogwarts!! Bloody Hogwarts! The place he has dreamed of attending since he was old enough to know what school and magic were. The place where he would finally get a chance to meet and properly interact with people his age and, if he's lucky enough, find a friend to have adventures and mayhem with. He could be living THE dream, a life worth of novels and fiction, just like the many books - written by wizards or muggles, he didn't even care - he had read. Just like the great Harry Potter and his friends.

He might not save the wizarding world or get into a dangerous adventure like The Chosen One, but who cared at the end of the day? Anything could be an adventure if you looked at it the right way. And a great imagination was always Scorpius’ forte.

But the reason for his identity crisis wasn't his anxiety and expectations regarding his possible friendships. Actually, Scorpius was deeply worried about the house he might be sorted into.

He had consumed every piece of information he could find about Hogwarts. Had read from the most popular and acclaimed books to the least knowns, had talked lots and lots about the school with his mother and even got a thing or two from his father’s time there as well. He felt confident about his knowledge of the place and the house’s system, and that was the exact reason why he lacked sleep so many nights.

Because, by definition, he knew he would fit pretty well at Ravenclaw.

He loved reading, he felt a thirst for knowledge. He was even a bit peculiar, just like many of the Ravens. But he feared that being the first Malfoy outside of Slytherin would rub the wrong way. He feared that people would only look up to him because that meant he was unlike the other Malfoy’s -- the so called “snakes”. If he wasn't viewed as a bad person, the main reason would be because he turned his back on his family’s traditions. And he couldn’t accept that. He wasn’t like this.

Meeting Albus, though, that had changed everything.

It was like his friend transmitted a soothing wave to his mind. His company felt like a glue that kept together all his random thoughts and he helped, like no one else could, to fit the missing pieces his mental puzzle insisted to create.

On their way to Hogwarts, they talked about everything and more. Even though Albus knew about Scorpius’ origins, he didn't seem to mind. They got on like a house on fire and, to Scorpius, everything was surreal. If he was lucky enough to have found such an amazing friend at his first try at meeting people his age, surely his journey at Hogwarts was bound to a great start!

By sharing sweets and peculiarities of their soul in the train, Scorpius even forgot about his anxiety regarding the house he might be sorted into. He felt like if he had Albus by his side, anything could be tolerable at the school. Time would help him figure things out. After all, The Sorting Hat was wise and would put him where he belongs, no doubt in that.

A few years later, during a random conversation with Albus, his _albismally_ handsome and talented and amazing boyfriend, the former let escape that, even though many would disagree, Scorpius was a true Slytherin. He said that just the fact that he was worrying enough to maintain the tradition of his blood relatives and was so ambitious to work until he could clean the Malfoy’s name, made him confident of his love’s place. He's a true Slytherin and no one could deny him that. He's the Good Malfoy, like he became known, but he's The Good _Slytherin_ Malfoy at the end of the day.

Coming to think of that, while Scorpius had his head rested on his boyfriend’s lap as they enjoyed a chilling afternoon at the gardens, he felt fantastic and confident. This kind of validation added one more thing to Scorpius’ endless list of why he was living the life he could have never dreamed of.

And he wouldn't change it for the world.


End file.
